MY CHILDHOOD: NO ONE THOUGHT I'D GROW (Cont...)


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To attest to this here is what happened, back then in my compound there was a family that had protector on their door. One day they mistakenly locked their door and left the keys inside, there was no way they could get into the house and breaking the padlock didn’t come to their mind. Someone remembered that there was a child who could be able to pass through the gate and then Nwa (my home name) was called. “nwa come, nwa come” and with my little legs I ran to meet them, they showed me the keys inside and asked me to go and get it for them. Unbelievable my head could pass through the protector without stress as I went in, took the keys and came out still through the same route. Everyone cheered me up. And it became a normal thing each time they forgot their keys inside that I’ll be the one to go get it for them. The last time I visited that compound early this year, I couldn’t help but weep and laughed when I saw the gate I used to pass through because even a three month old child can’t even be forced through that gate. Today I grew! Last time I visited Lagos a relative saw me and shouted. “Nwa! So you been mean to grow like this!” no one thought I would grow, not even myself. So, that’s why I am always proud of myself, if you like say I’m a short girl I bet you, you have no idea what my growth was like from childhood. Here am I today no stunt growth, no deformity, no regret, no disadvantage, no sickness for over 23 years now. The only thing I might call sickness was toothache which is even now no more. For 23years I lived without treating neither malaria nor typhoid nor all those sickness that needs regular checkup. I’ve lived all my life I barely know what it means to be hospitalized. Each time I see or hear people shout malaria o, typhoid oo, I just turn to bless God whose blood sanctified me right from childhood till this day.

Today, Nwa is grown into a Lady and soon to be a woman. Dad is now proud of her, she’s her mum’s pride, neighbors are amaze at her growth so far, the street marveled how she survived through the turbulent times she had with her father.

This piece is an encouragement to every child out there. It doesn’t matter the home you’re born into, God will help you grow. Not many of us were born in a stable home, it isn’t our fault, God knows why because he planned everything even before we were born. Stay strong… keep your hope high… and you shall sail through.

#SilverGirl
Self Inspired Lady,
Grace

MY CHILDHOOD: NO ONE THOUGHT I’D GROW

Remembering my childhood days is just one of the greatest ways of appreciating God for bringing me this far. I was born into a broken home, story had it that I was barely a year old when divorce struck my mother on her face like the Egyptian plague. All effort to halt the plan of a separated home both spiritually and physically was futile, she had to face her greatest fears in marriage after having three children of which I happened to be the last. Well, this is not the time to go deep into her experience in the short marriage, but hopefully someday, I’ll put that up. After the divorce paper was served from the court, mum had to find her tent like the Israelites would have done when their enemies chased after them. At age one, I wouldn’t be wrong to say I was denied the privilege of enjoy mum’s breast to full as required for every toddler. I was left with Dad since mum had to seek shelter for herself before coming to pick her children as stipulated in the divorce paper.

Life began with me at that tender age. I was very very very small, like a child suffering from one chronic disease and indeed I was sick. I had a sickness that everyone thought I would die, all I can still remember was that I would sit on the floor and cry all day because of the pains coming from my anus where I was struck with something unexplainable. Everyone who passed would only pity that small beautiful child sitting all day and dying silently out of pains she couldn’t speak. I guess my dad cared less whether I survived or not, and like the average African man would do after a divorce, he brought in a new wife. Hmmm… yet I was still helplessly sick and couldn’t even get up from the ground that became my closet friend. My brother and sister were still small then and little they could to help their poor sister, and not like these days of telecommunication, perhaps, they could have called mum to come and take me away for proper care. And besides, I remember the first time my mum came to pick I and my siblings for holiday, I refused following her. I cried and rejected all effort made to get me following her because I never knew she was my mum. I thought she was a stranger since that was my first time of seeing her.

AND GOD HEALED ME…
People who knew me then can still testify that I was only good to be thrown away because no one thought I would be healed even with medical attention. One day, I woke up to realize I was healed, I mean totally healed! And this remains a mystery to me and those around me till this day. I was healed without traditional or medical treatment, I was healed even without been taken for assignment. God healed me unexplainably. He healed me, today those who knew me would say “haah! E no good to throwey pikin”

AND I GREW…
If there was a child that growth could have cheated drastically, I would have been the one. Maybe a three years old child would have been much tall and big than me. I remember how a guy back them would often make mockery of me “you no wan pay money for ground make you tall”. I was this smallish beautiful child. Mum said each time she goes out with me everyone would rush to touch and carry me because I was too small and beautiful. People admired my smallish and beautiful looks that they can’t help than play with me till she’s ready to leave. To attest to this here is what happened, back then in my compound there was a family that had protector on their door. One day they mistakenly locked their door and left the keys inside, there was no way they could get into the house and breaking the padlock didn’t come to their mind. Someone remembered that there was a child who could be able to pass through the gate and then Nwa (my home name) was called. “nwa come, nwa come” and with my little legs I ran to meet them, they showed me the keys inside and asked me to go and get it for them. Unbelievable my head could pass through the protector without stress as I went in, took the keys and came

'EMOTIONAL FANTASY...'

If words could be wrapped as parcel
If feelings could be sent as gifts
If tears could bud into a being
If smiles could bridge the distance
Between you and I
Yet, baby, our love
Would beat gravity and never come down

If whispers could travel a mile
If kisses could fly beyond time
If cuddle could be felt from afar
If embrace could be blown into the air
Yet,  baby, our love
Would still be like the rainbow in the skies

Come on love
For our love is hot
Like the volcano, it shall solidify
Amidst distance and time
It shall know no bound
Let distance threaten us
Let sight turn blind
Let emotions be put to test
Let the wind of loneliness
Mock us day and night
But my love, soon the day shall be over
And we shall return to each other
My Indomitable Love

And I wished there was one behind this emotional fantasy.

WHY?

Why did you have to lie
To make me love you?

Why did you have to lie
To buy my trust?

Why did you cross a mile
When you had no intention to stay?

Why did you say you loved me
When actually you never did?

Why the temporal relieve
Only to leave a permanent scar?

You knew loneliness was my first name
You knew solitude was my closet friend
You knew love was a fairy tale I longed for
You knew this broken heart was yet healed
You knew all these and many more
Then, why did you have to add to the bitter sweet experience?
If humans with heart
Barely understand the concept of loving from their hearts
Then, make me heartless should I traverse this journey again....

STAY WITH ME...

While I have no shoes on my foot
While I have no clothes in my wardrobe
While I have no pot in my kitchen
While I use firewood to cook
And drink from my ancient barn
Stay with me

While I'm yet to make a name
While I'm yet to hit the fame
While I have no entourage to accompany me
While I have no press to visit me
And no interviewers to host me
Stay with me

While I struggle to be a lady of substance
While I struggle to grab love's cloak
While I battle with broken heart and pains
While I wished I was in Cinderella's land
And waiting for the Prince charming to come
Stay with me

If now I need you to stay
If now I plead you to stay
If now I seek companion and friendship
If now I look for trueness of all
Yet, you've chosen to leave
Hope tomorrow you wouldn't mind
When I build walls of Jericho round about me
Hope tomorrow you won't call it pride
When I parade myself with convoy
Hope tomorrow you won't claim relationship
And even if you do, I'll remind you
When I once pleaded that you stay with me today.

Who's The Guy?

Who's the guy behind her smiles?
The same guy behind her tears

Who's the guy behind her words?
The same guy behind her silence

Who's the guy behind her feeling of love?
The Same guy behind her broken heart

Who's the guy behind her stolen heart?
The same guy behind her sold heart

Who's the guy behind her strength?
The same guy behind her weakness

Who's the guy behind her sleepless nights?
The same guy behind her peaceful days

Who's the guy behind her lonely days?
The same guy behind her funfilled days

Poor lass,
Whose heart she exchanged for love
And now neither got the love
Nor her heart back
Tell that guy he has done nothing wrong than a crime of shattered heart
For he has pranked a heart made for pumping blood into pumping unreciprocated love....

BE SINGLE and FREE…

It’s hard for most of us who are still 100% single , 75% single while others are only in a struggling relationship looking forward to the day their Messiah would come. It’s even more hard living in an environment where love is in the air, we see lovers parade themselves like love birds mostly at night, and during the day, we get to see a lot of love movies in form of marriage proposal . But before we quarrel our Chi for keeping us single in this love filled era, before we curse our ancestors for being behind our singleness, before we soak our pillows with emotional tears, before we quarrel the weather for being so unfair to those yet to find love, can we just learn to enjoy our single period like those enjoying their relationship period?

It maybe hard to believe any lady would be single especially when she has developed all the physical lady’s features. Like a post I read yesterday which denied the fact that any girl can be single, I just laughed over it. Truth is this, there are a lot of single guys and girls ,there are a lot of them wishing to be romantically involved with someone, there are also those who enjoys being single because they don’t have strength  for emotional wahala. Many people wishes to know your relationship status especially when you’re a beautiful lady or handsome guy. People would always want to know who is the guy/lady in your life not because they want to congratulate him/her rather they want see if (s)he meets up with their expected image. Relationship ain’t for public approval they are for your self comfort and peace of mind. So if for the fear of being single one gets himself into a wrong relationship the rest of it would be philosophy of love. Singleness shouldn’t drive you into doing/wishing  stupid things. It doesn’t give you license to start going out with someone’s husband. It’s not an excuse to engage in snatching people’s date when there are over a thousand and one singles out there seeking for you. 

Being single offers you an opportunity to be emotionally, psychologically and financially free. It gives you the chance and freedom to exert your energy into other profitable things which ordinary you might not have been able to do when you’re relationship bond. Singleness is a period you arrange your priority without external interference , your heart and mind works in harmony, your brain does the thinking faster than a cheetah can run, you have time to discover what you can do to keep soul and body together. Being single is a status we all should be proud of not the reverse, it doesn’t mean love left us behind nor does it mean we weren’t good enough to be in one, it simply means our time is yet to arrive. To the sisters, forget that picture of a skeletal woman with the caption “waiting for the perfect  man”, nobody should make you feel bad simply because you’re single. As a lady, a lot of relationship offers often pill up on our desk but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t  exercise our freewill  to chose, it shouldn’t make us desperate into accepting anything that comes our way, we have taste which we can only try to blend not abandon for something lesser. Next time someone tries to make mockery of your single status be BOLD enough to laugh at them. Nobody ever gets the best of a choice when (s)he choses out of desperateness. To the guys, as you grow older, you’ll understand the need to be in a relationship with a lady who would help you think and act faster in regards to achieving your set goals. You’ll appreciate the fact that it is better to be single than lavishing your time and money on someone else’s property. To all, use your past relationship experience so as to avoid mistakes for the second time. Life expects you to grow and when growing there are hidden facts you get to discover that you can’t negotiate. Being in a relationship is a good thing  only if we are with the right person.

Happy New Month from my desk. 

Self Inspired Lady,

Grace 

PUBLIC MARRIAGE PROPOSAL?

Couple of days ago, I finally got to see the video of the ‘airport’ proposal drama of a guy to his girlfriend and I watched how embarrassing and stupid the whole ‘public show’ ended. Well, it was a big disgrace to the guy and foolishness on the part of the lady. I couldn’t help but imagine how on earth would a lady keep a guy kneeling for minutes, have the spectators gingering her ‘say yes, say yes, say yes’ and at the end of the day, she reluctantly got the ring slipped into her finger and walked out of the crowd covering her face. Sisterly, like seriously? Was she trying to say she was ‘shy, blushing, overwhelmed, flabberwhelmed, astound or what! But before we judge the lady, let’s look deep into the reasons behind her action.

Maybe they had been in a long term or short term relationship. Maybe they had known eachother or they were not possibly ‘dating’ as parse. But here is it. As a guy, it is very important to understand the lady you are dating. To think all ladies expect their relationship to lead to marriage is to think that all fishes love salty water. Note, not all ladies are interested in the marriage thing because many tend to get themselves involved in multiple relationship and still feel unsatisfied (not met with the man of their chose). Some would prefer the dating so long as it doesn’t/mustn’t lead to marriage. As a guy, being sensitive in a relationship is paramount to none. Did you know how many relationships ended at the mere mention of marriage? Did you also know most ladies shrink at the mention of settling down because they ain’t fully prepared to spend life with just one man under the same roof? A lady who wants to spend her life with you would always show in actions and in words. So it is needless going out to disgrace yourself all in the name of a surprise marriage proposal.

The lady might be right though. One thing I had always warned is to keep our relationship off the public scene. After the public show, we all go back to our private life (relationship) and no one knows what we face dealing with our partner’s character and lifestyle. The public might applaud how wonderful a couple we would make, they might only see the beautiful times we spent together, they might only focus on how peaceful the whole stuff has been but very few knows that most relationships are just like fish struggling to live on land. Very few knows what’s really happening behind closed doors away from public eyes. Maybe she sees something in the guy that she might not be able to cope with in marriage, so why the hell do you think she should have been moved out of sympathy to say ‘yes’ just to avoid public shame? Would those shouting ‘say yes, yes, yes’ come to live with them after the whole show? Marriage is a lifetime event where love might even fail, so thinking the lady never loved the guy is totally wrong to some extent. She might love him but not to the point of marrying him. And besides, it’s not the responsibility of the ladies to love marriage won’t go too well that way. The guy should do the loving.

To those in a relationship. One thing I often do when I meet a guy newly is to indirectly interview him. He might not know I’m taking note of everything he says and one important question I don’t fail to ask is “what are your plans for the next five/three years?” because I am a lady and I’m not growing any younger. And if after giving me his plans marriage is found missing, I’ll simple operate with him on a more careful ground. But if the reverse, I’ll take a step further into understanding him. I think this question should also be applicable to ladies so you don’t end up having a repeated film show of the Airport proposal drama. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the fanciful public marriage proposal, but, It would be wise to first have an indoor discussion before bringing the drama to the public, write and rehears your script very well while she does same. it's fun and interesting only if bot